ferrociously | if blood don't tell you the truth

if blood don't tell you the truth

[It's strange, but every time he comes back here, he gets this nagging feeling that he's in the wrong place, like he doesn't belong in this building. He's changed into his uniform, he's easily recognizable, but he's still waiting for someone to stop him and tell him to leave. He knows it's all in his head. He belonged here first, long before the mafia, and if anyone stops him he could get it cleared up in seconds.

As usual, he's still gonna carry himself with confidence, though. He inclines his head to the people he passes, and some of them, recognizing the uniform, stop and stare, but Tachihara ignores them and keeps walking. He's back; he's home. Well, he's not. He's a triple agent now, spying on the mafia for the hunting dogs, and on the hunting dogs for the mafia, but his loyalty is with the boss. His are the orders he's going to follow. He is the one creating order. The hunting dogs were created as a farce.

Being back here really is messing with his head.

He turns another corner and spots another familiar person. He hasn't seen Jouno since they were both vampires (and there's a sentence that will never not sound strange), and he's not sure how to react. Relief that he's okay? Of course he'd be okay, it's Jouno. Maybe he should be nervous, because technically Tachihara is working against him now. But then, he was trained as a spy. He's got this. There's barely any change to his heartbeat as he approaches.]

Jouno-san!

[He bows deeper to him than he had to anyone else.]

I finally managed to get away for a couple of days

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Unfortunately, that isn't up to me.

[ A fact that Jouno is grateful for, because in the end, he doesn't know what he would decide. Logically, the answer is to nullify the threat. Tachihara knows enough of their secrets that while it wouldn't be damning, it would be inconvenient for the Hunting Dogs and the government were they to get out.

While Jouno believes that Tachihara could withstand torture from the Port Mafia if it came down to it, it's hard to believe that he would bother if his loyalties were really as mixed as they seemed to be. He says, and he believes, that he wouldn't divulge information that would hurt the Hunting Dogs, but how true could that remain?

Jouno does not think himself to be particularly sentimental, but even so, killing Tachihara would be unpleasant for him. He'd already had to make the choice to help kill Fukuchi, the very man that had changed his viewpoints. Having to go through that again wouldn't break him, but it would...

Would it hurt? It's hard to imagine being hurt, but Jouno knows he wouldn't like it. ]

If you were to forsake the Port Mafia entirely, leave their organization, and return to the Hunting Dogs, there might be some leeway in it for you, but short of that, you'd be a detriment to us. As long as you have one foot in the door with the mafia, there's no way that we could trust you again.

I know. I have to choose one or the other. [A pause.] I have to choose the Hunting Dogs or death, I know that much. But I wouldn't let a fear of death affect my decision.

[He'll make his choice, and stand by it, no matter the consequences. There's that pride again, one instilled in him by both groups... But it's easily swallowed by how conflicted he feels about all of this. When it all comes down to it, he still hates making decisions for himself when he could devote himself to someone's orders instead.

But he made his choice when he stood against Fukuchi.

He can do it again, he thinks.]

Then there's just one thing I need to know, Jouno-san. When I joined the Hunting Dogs, I was told we'd be working for justice. We wouldn't keep our hands clean, but we'd do the jobs that needed to be done. I really believed in that.

One of those jobs was joining the mafia, doing what's expected of someone in the mafia, and not even to bring the Organization down, just to keep an eye on one man. I think you know what I've had to do while I've been undercover.

[He's left out a lot of it from his reports, but Jouno is smart enough to fill in the blanks.]

And then it turns out the Hunting Dogs were never about justice. We were created by one man for something completely different, for his own selfish reasons. And in the end, the Port Mafia was the organization that helped prevent that disaster.

[This is difficult to say, but... he has to say it.]

How do I know the Hunting Dogs are the ones on the right side now? How do I know what the right side really is?

[ A decision like that should come easily. Choosing life or death -- but they'd both chosen the risk of death when facing Fukuchi. They'd even succumbed to it for a while.

Jouno knows better than most what Tachihara had been expected to do as a former criminal himself. His time as an executive had left his hands more tainted than most. He had always been twisted, so it hadn't shaped him, but he can imagine how it might have changed someone like Tachihara. Tachihara had been a relatively good person, acting out due to circumstances more than an evil heart.

Even though he enjoyed his job in the mafia, Jouno didn't think it made Tachihara a particularly bad person -- though, granted, his view on good and evil had always been a little skewed. ]

The right side is the one that helps more people. Even under Fukuchi's orders, before his real motive was discovered, we were helping innocent civilians when we could.

[ Jouno understood though -- even the mafia had helped people in the end. ]

I didn't join the Hunting Dogs for justice. [ He's not sure he knows right from wrong, really. ] But in the end, the people who were thanking me were good people.

We fight to protect those people. The Port Mafia fights to continue to exploit them.

[Tachihara is going to really consider those words. He believes that Jouno means it, especially because Jouno had also stood against Fukuchi, had been killed by him and turned into a vampire, the same way Tachihara was. It's why it's important to hear this from him. He's quiet for a few more moments.]

The Port Mafia creates order, as well.

[But it's also violent. It hurts and exploits people, he's not going to pretend otherwise. He's done all those things directly. Maybe that's what makes this so difficult: If he decides that the Port Mafia's actions are wrong, then he's also saying his own actions were wrong. It feels like stepping out of an illusion he's made himself living under, and he's not sure that he can.

And he can't think of his friends in the mafia as bad.]

I did all those things, Jouno-san. Every terrible thing that the mafia does. And I have to have pride in my actions.

What is that order used for, Tachihara-kun? Do you really think they're creating order for anything other than a world in which to commit more atrocities? Crime cannot exist without people to exploit and take advantage of, and so, it is necessary, at times, to protect those same people.

[ It's the motives behind it, Jouno thinks, that makes the things they do different. Tachihara has done terrible things, but in the end, his motives had been...

Well, they'd at least told him that his motives had been to protect people. It's what they need Tachihara to believe, and so, it's what Jouno will tell him. ]

Have pride in helping us keep people safe, even at the cost of doing terrible things, if you must have pride in something.

[The doubt is still there. This doesn't feel right. But in the end, Tachihara is more loyal to the Black Lizard than to the Port Mafia as a whole, because those are the people he calls his friends. He remembers hating them at first, too.]

That's what I wanted to do. That's why I wanted to be a Hunting Dog.

[And he'd even taken pride in being someone who'll do those terrible things, because it means that other people won't have to. It's something that his brother, his perfect and good and brave soldier brother would never have had the conviction to do, he's sure of it.]

I want to be able to feel that pride again.

[Unlike the conflicted feelings he's been living with for months.]

You won't find it in the mafia.

[ Jouno knows that isn't necessarily true. While he believes Tachihara to be a good person, he also knows that he's capable of everything the mafia has asked of him. He felt at home there, or he wouldn't be so conflicted. ]

I know better than anyone the pride and joy that can come from hurting people. [ Jouno's free hand moves to rest on Tachihara's cheek, gentle this time as opposed to his previous slaps. It's meant to be jarring, confusing. ] I delight in the suffering of others. I became a Hunting Dog to chase that feeling. Even if I have to hurt you for the sake of my joy, I will.

However, I'd much rather you be one of us. Find pride here like I do.

[It is jarring. He doesn't think he deserves that soft touch. It's the kind of thing he's been craving from Jouno, along with his praise, and he wants to give in right then and there and agree to everything he wants. He wants his orders to remake him all over again.]

I'm not scared of being hurt, but if you're the one doing it, Jouno-san...

[He knows it's something to be scared of. Everyone has a breaking point. Tachihara doesn't want to know what his own is.]

I want to try.

[ Jouno smiles at the implication that there's a reason to fear him. That's praise in its own way. He's earned his reputation, after all, and it'd be a shame to be underestimated by someone who knew him so well. ]

I'll speak with the Commander, but by my orders, you're staying here until we've decided what to do with you.

[ Jouno won't risk him going back to the mafia. ]

Your boss already knows you're one of us, and you're scheduled for maintenance surgery, so it shouldn't be a problem for you to be here for a few days. [ It wouldn't take longer than that for him to talk to Teruko. ]

I want you to do a mission with us. One away from the mafia. You need to be reminded why we do what we do.

[He breathes out a tiny sigh of relief. A decision has been made. One that's not Tachihara's, which is how he really prefers it.]

Yes, Jouno-san.

[It won't be a problem at all. He always makes sure to give the rest of the Black Lizard an excuse for why he'll be missing when it's time for his maintenance surgeries, so no one will wonder why he's gone.

And doing a mission doesn't sound bad. He doubts it will be that easy, though.]

I won't go anywhere until I have your permission.

Good boy.

[ Jouno pats Tachihara's cheek, smiling at him, slightly more genuine. It's the kind of compliment that he'd give in the bedroom, but it seems fitting here, too. Tachihara is listening to him, and for that he deserves Jouno's praise.

Besides, Jouno does still have him mostly naked. ]

[Those two words feel good in a way that he can't explain. They make his pulse speed up, in a way that he definitely can't help this time. It should probably be insulting to be told that.]

I -- I'll try to be.

[ Jouno pulls back his knife for now, sheathing it once more. It seems, for the moment, he's pleased enough with Tachihara's reaction. There's even a laugh as he hears his heartbeat quicken. ]

Ah, don't tell me you like that kind of thing, Tachihara-kun.

[ Jouno is absolutely going to pick on this where he can. ]

[That laugh just makes him feel more flustered and embarrassed.]

I don't, Jouno-san!

[It's not like lying is possible, but in moments like this he still forgets himself.]

I'm just relieved, that's all.

[ The more Tachihara protests, the more amused that Jouno is. ]

I don't mind.

[ With his knife put away, it's Jouno's hand that finds Tachihara's chest this time, fingers tracing along one of the shallow cuts he left. ]

You could even consider that a perk of the Hunting Dogs as well, if you want.

Huh?!

[He's not sure how to react. He's not pulling away from the touch, but he's now definitely awkward.]

I don't -- Jouno-san, now you're teasing me again!

Am I?

[ He definitely is. He's trying hard not to lose himself laughing. Tachihara's heartbeat is going a mile a minute. He's sure that anyone, even without senses like his, could hear it if they were this close. ]

I don't feel you moving away, though.

Of course I'm not!

[That would feel too much like disobedience at this point, and he promised to obey every single order. He's not risking it when he knows he's still on thin ice because of his betrayal. He's not moving an inch without permission.

But he also doesn't hate this.]

I really can't tell if you're serious.

[ It had been mostly a joke, meant to keep Tachihara off balance and unsettled, and so far it seems to be working. It's less genuine attraction to Tachihara and more a curiosity for just how far the other will go to prove that he's still loyal to Jouno. ]

What if I was?

[ Confusing Tachihara further is cruel, but it's also possibly useful -- devotion of any kind is helpful in a situation like this. ]

[He doesn't think Jouno is serious. It's strange to suddenly go there considering he'd been questioning Tachihara a moment ago, confirming he's a traitor and trying to decide if he can be trusted again. On the other hand, Tachihara wants to earn back that trust desperately.]

I - wouldn't mind.

[He is in fact exceptionally bad at this sort of thing. Zero game.]

[ That Tachihara is willing to go even there is fascinating. Jouno really should tell him it'd been a joke -- because it had been -- but he decides that this might worth being pursuing in the long run. It's one more thing to dangle in front of Tachihara to persuade him to return to the Hunting Dogs.

Jouno sees it as a tool, another method to get the outcome he desires.

When he steps forward, it's to push Tachihara farther back against the desk, hand moving to grip his chin once more. ]

I'm not very kind, you know. Even with this.

[ He tilts Tachihara's chin up into a rough, bruising kiss. ]

[There's a lot he could say to that: He knows (though in his experience Jouno can absolutely be kind). He doesn't need that kind of consideration or warning (not as a hunting dog or as a mafio - he's gonna have to stop thinking that). Or he could --

Jouno is already kissing him. Tachihara freezes for a second, because this is Jouno, and Tachihara has only ever done this kind of thing when drunk. But then he reminds himself that he can't just stand there, so he kisses back, one hand on the desk behind him to steady himself, the other coming up to rest on Jouno's arm. He closes his eyes, because he prefers to focus on how it feels.

He thinks he likes that Jouno isn't being gentle.]

[ Jouno smiles against the kiss, only to bite at Tachihara's bottom lip, teeth dragging against it. The hand that had been holding the younger man's chin lowers to his throat, gripping it, though he keeps the pressure light.

He's close enough now that he can nudge Tachihara's legs apart with his knee, only to press it up against him once he's done so.

He has no idea how experienced Tachihara is or isn't, but he imagines that he's at least had some being in the mafia. Sex and violence often go hand in hand, after all. Ultimately, it doesn't matter -- as long as Jouno can use it for his benefit, he will. ]

[He's had some experience. Some, but not a lot, and none of them like this. This is Jouno, his superior, someone he admires, and someone he'd been sure would end up hating him after today. He hadn't expected to be pushed against a desk by him.

He's very much focused on figuring out what Jouno wants from him. That grip to his throat definitely makes his pulse speed up with nervous excitement, and he shifts his legs apart, allows him closer. He'd let him do anything, really. He wonders if he should be doing something else.

He parts his lips and focuses on kissing, because he can't think.]

[ Jouno takes advantage of the opening, slipping his tongue past Tachihara's lips. There's something thrilling about taking advantage of someone in this way, cruel though it may be.

He tightens his grip on Tachihara's throat, though it still isn't enough to cut off oxygen. Still, even providing slight pressure excites him, and when he grinds up against Tachihara, his own arousal is growing increasingly obvious.

Jouno's free hand drifts between them, palming Tachihara through the thin fabric of his boxers. He's glad he had the foresight of having him strip earlier, though before it had been solely with the goal of humiliation in mind. Now, he's after something else -- the kind of loyalty that can be manufactured this way. ]

if blood don't tell you the truth

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